To Die is Gain

So I finally made a blog =) As you can tell, it is in the very beginning stages, and I have lots to do! I am so thankful that God has given me so many blessings at this point in life. I have a wonderful husband of almost 3 years, and a beautiful, healthy daughter. He could have chosen not to give me either of them. Or He could have chosen to take them back to Himself after only a short while. But so far, He has continued to allow me to enjoy these earthly blessings. I pray that if He does ask me to give them up, whether sooner or later, I will have the trust and faith in Him to do it without anger or bitterness. I do not know where He will take us in life, but I am striving to have a new perspective that is helping me towards contentment. We all must die, unless of course Christ returns. We spend so much time planning out the details of our lives that we forget about this reality, or just shove it in the back of our minds because we do not like to think about it. I did both. I have always been fearful of death, especially the death of Crockett and now the death of Tessa. It is natural to hate death. It is part of the curse. But I did not realize I feared it so much that when confronted with it, I began to doubt everything. I began to question life and its meaning. I saw no reason to continue living when I could die at any moment. It was a difficult but good process to go through. I am thankful God brought me through with a renewed trust in His Word and His promises. It has helped me to think more about the reasons behind my actions, the way I live each day, and fulfilling God's purpose for my life. The Gospel is truth. It is the ultimate reality. In heaven we will be more alive than we ever were on earth. So why am I living for this life so much? Why do I cling so tightly to it all? I am battling this on a daily basis, but the reality of my death (whenever it may occur) continues to help me put things in perspective. I want to enjoy the gifts God has given me on earth, but I do not want to dismiss the reality of eternity. I want to be able to say and believe "to live is Christ and to die is gain."